Issue 19: Dusk is my favorite universe

Some reflections on transition.

Dearest reader,

I trust this letter finds you as it leaves me, in good health. A few issues back I reflected upon my relocation from New York to Minneapolis. I didn’t leave New York because I wanted to, I left because I judged it a change I had to make, considering personal duties as well as duties towards those closest to me.

It’s now been just over two months since my return home. Enough time has passed where New York has descended behind the horizon, existing in the View-Master of my mind as a station I visited some clicks ago—and remember fondly—but where I sense I was always supposed to be a visitor.

Cedar Lake at dusk. Sometime last week.

I avoided this return. I had thoughts of moving straight to LA—or in the direction of any other city endowed with an aura I could hide amidst, or perhaps even drench myself in, a mother whose vibrancy I supposed I might be able to inherit glimmers of in those moments where I feel like such a small morsel in such a vast and endless sea.

I’ve been able to find peace in my family home. The kind of peace that’s not even attached to this particular place, this particular desk I write at, these particular walls that provide me with shelter for sleep. It’s a kind of peace that makes me curious to wander again, to drift—while knowing that, whether here or there, I’m home.

Love,
Reef